good enough.

Growing up I was never an athlete. As much as I tried or wanted to be, I couldn't dribble a ball, I missed every ball at bat and most certainly, I couldn't run. In my hometown, if you played sports or were on any team, that instantly was a social status, it was "cool". And if you were good, then you really had it made. 

I'll never forget middle school gym class, we were doing some sort of activity, and some boy, who I don't even know where he is now, thought it'd be funny to make fun of me for how much I couldn't run and how un-athletic I was. Going home that day, it was easy for my Mom to say the typical, "Well that means he likes you" (which by the way, to this date, has that ever proven true?). In my mind, it was just straight up mean and for the first time I realized I may not be "good enough". Those rude comments, put me down so much that I internalized it for awhile (granted I internalize everything).

There's been many times where I have felt "not good enough". Whether it was doing something athletic, being rejected by a guy, not getting a job of my dreams or more, these feelings can take a toll on a female and they took a toll on me.  

What I am realizing now at 25, is that I am good enough, and the thing that has made me realize that is marathon training. This has been the most grueling, intense, hardest thing I have ever done. I have turned down social plans with friends, woken up before the sunrise, spent extra money on water bottles, sneakers, GU chomps and things I normally would not spend money on, bored my boyfriend with conversations about the race, all for the sake of training for a marathon. And by damn, if this commitment doesn't make anyone feel "good enough" then they're crazy. 

Today after running my longest training run (21 miles!!) these thoughts all came over me and I am good enough. The girl who couldn't run a mile the day she graduated college in 2012 has come a long way, and if I can do it, anyone can do it. 

Thank you all to who have supported me the past few weeks between training together (Emily), all who have donated to "Bright Pink", and all who have listened to me blab/complain/freak out about the run. 

I only hope to make you all proud three weeks from today!!

"The miracle isn't that I finished, the miracle is that I had the courage to start"